Dealing With Conflicts In A Relationship

DEALING WITH CONFLICTS IN A RELATIONSHIP

View each other as a team. Loving couples refer to their partners as their “other half” for a reason: they work together. You should feel comfortable chasing your dreams and helping your partner realize his or her dreams. Working on projects together, like starting a garden or redecorating the house, teaches you to respect and trust each other while fostering a loving attitude.

Listen to your partner when he or she wants to discuss something or needs your support. Make sure that your partner knows that you are on his or her side and that you want to offer your support in any way that you can.

Accept responsibility for your role in conflicts. In every relationship, conflicts will arise and you will need to find ways to work through them. One of the best things you can do to deal with conflicts is to know when you are at fault (or at least a little at fault) and try to find a way to compromise with your partner. Taking responsibility for your role in the conflicts that arise in your relationship will help to make it easier to find areas for compromise.

For example, if you and your partner are having an argument about the best way to use your tax refund, consider whether you are part of the cause of this conflict. Have you fully considered your partner’s perspective? Why don’t you agree with him/her? What might be a good compromise that could help resolve the conflict?

Forgive your lover for their flaws. No one is perfect, but people often forget this about the ones they love. Your partner is going to make mistakes and hurt your feelings sometimes. While it may be difficult to forgive them, it is something that you need to learn how to do in order to maintain a loving relationship. To avoid developing animosity in your relationship, accept that your partner is not perfect and forgive them when they are wrong.

Remember, you have to be willing to give forgiveness to get forgiveness, and you are going to make your share of mistakes too.

Be willing to make sacrifices for each other. When you love someone, your life becomes joined with theirs. Things you did when you were single become harder, and you need to think about your partner’s feelings when considering your plans. You can’t always do exactly what you want to do when you are in a relationship, so you have to get used to sacrificing for each other now and then.

For example, if you and your partner both want to see a different movie on your date night, one of you may have to sacrifice and say, “Okay, let’s see the one you want to see this week.” Then the next time there is a conflict of choice, the partner who sacrificed last time should get to choose.

You may encounter bigger sacrifices at some point in your relationship as well. For example, if you are offered a job in another state, your partner would have to decide if he or she is willing to sacrifice his or her job, friends, etc. to enable you to take that job.

Accept your partner’s quirks. As you get to know someone, you find out new little things about them that you may find strange. Everyone has different preferences and habits, and you cannot expect your partner to do everything just like you do. Do your best to accept and appreciate their quirks instead of trying to change them.

If something your partner does truly bothers you or causes you anxiety, then you need to talk to your partner about it. Avoid putting your complaint into critical terms or demanding your partner to change. Instead, say how the behavior makes you feel and ask if there is anything that your partner thinks might help to solve the problem.

For example, try saying, “When you leave your dirty clothes on the floor it makes me feel frustrated and anxious. Is there anything we could do to make it easier to put clothes in the hamper?”