Your Talent Only Matters If You Are Somewhere It can Be Used

“A mother and a baby camel were lying around under a tree.

Then the baby camel asked, ‘Why do camels have humps?’

The mother camel considered this and said, ‘We are desert animals so we have the humps to store water so we can survive with very little water.’

The baby camel thought for a moment then said, ‘Ok…why are our legs long and our feet rounded?’

The mama replied, ‘They are meant for walking in the desert.’

The baby paused. After a beat, the camel asked, ‘Why are our eyelashes long? Sometimes they get in my way.’

The mama responded, ‘Those long thick eyelashes protect your eyes from the desert sand when it blows in the wind.’

The baby thought and thought. Then he said, ‘I see. So the hump is to store water when we are in the desert, the legs are for walking through the desert and these eye lashes protect my eyes from the desert then why in the Zoo?'”

Don't Assume you are going to Fail

During a research experiment a marine biologist placed a shark into a large holding tank and then released several small bait fish into the tank.

As you would expect, the shark quickly swam around the tank, attacked and ate the smaller fish.

The marine biologist then inserted a strong piece of clear fiberglass into the tank, creating two separate partitions. She then put the shark on one side of the fiberglass and a new set of bait fish on the other.

Again, the shark quickly attacked. This time, however, the shark slammed into the fiberglass divider and bounced off. Undeterred, the shark kept repeating this behavior every few minutes to no avail.  Meanwhile, the bait fish swam around unharmed in the second partition. Eventually, about an hour into the experiment, the shark gave up.

This experiment was repeated several dozen times over the next few weeks. Each time, the shark got less aggressive and made fewer attempts to attack the bait fish, until eventually the shark got tired of hitting the fiberglass divider and simply stopped attacking altogether.

The marine biologist then removed the fiberglass divider, but the shark didn’t attack. The shark was trained to believe a barrier existed between it and the bait fish, so the bait fish swam wherever they wished, free from harm.

IGNORE HATERS

IGNORE HATERS

A group of frogs were traveling through the forest when two of them fell into a deep pit. When the other frogs saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that there was no hope left for them.

However, the two frogs ignored their comrades and proceeded to try to jump out of the pit. However, despite their efforts, the group of  frogs ignored their comrades and proceeded to try to jump out of the pit. However, despite their efforts, the group of frogs at the top of the pit were still saying that they should just give up as they would never make it out.

Eventually, one of the frogs took heed of what the others were saying and he gave up, jumping even deeper to his death. The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the group of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and to just die.

He ignored them, and jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, 'Did you not hear us?

The frog explained to them that he was deaf, and that he thought they were encouraging him the entire time."

MORAL LESSON: Turn the hate and bad advises into positivity.

Be Kind To Others Even If It Hurts You

"In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.

'How much is an ice cream sundae?'

'50 cents, " replied the waitress.
The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied a number of coins in it.

'How much is a dish of plain ice cream? he inquired. Some people were now waiting for a table and the waitress was a bit impatient.

'35 cents,' she said brusquely.
The little boy again counted the coins. I'll have the plain ice cream,' he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the icecream, paid the cashier and departed.

When the waitress came back, she began wiping down the table and then swallowed hard at what she saw. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish were 15 cents- her tip

Moral: Be kind to People even if it hurts.

Your Reaction Matters More Than What Happens To You

YOUR REACTION MATTERS MORE THAN WHAT HAPPENS TO YOU


"Once upon a time a daughter complained to her father that her life was miserable and that she didn't know how she was going to make it. She was tired of fighting and struggling all the time. it seemed just as one problem was solved, another one soon followed.

Her father, a chef, took her to the kitchen. He filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Once the three pots began to boil, he placed potatoes in one pot, eggs in the second pot,and ground coffee beans in the third pot.

He then let them sit and boil, without saying a word to his daughter. The daughter, moaned and impatiently waited, wondering what he was doing.

After twenty minutes he turned off the burners. He took the potatoes out of the pot and placed them in  a bowl. He pulled the boiled eggs out and placed them in a bowl.

He then ladled the coffee out and placed it in a cup. Turning to her he asked. "Daughter what do you see?

'Potatoes, eggs and coffee,' she hastily replied.
' Look closer,' he said and touch the potatoes. "She did and noted that they were soft. He then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled  egg. Finally, he asked her to sip the coffee. its rich aroma brought a smile to her face.

' Father what does this mean? She asked

He then explained that the potatoes, the eggs and coffee beans had each faced the same adversity- the boiling water.
However, each one reacted differently.

The potato went in strong, hard and unrelenting, but in boiling water, it became soft and weak.
The egg was fragile, with the thin outer shell protecting its liquid interior until it was put in the boiling water. Then the inside of the egg became hard.

However, the ground coffee beans were unique. After they were exposed to the boiling water, they changed the water and created something new.

'Which are you, 'he asked his daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door how do you respond?
Are you a potato, an egg, or a coffee bean?

The Elephant And The Rope

Your attempt may fail, but never fail to make an attempt.

Here's one of the most empowering short stories I have lately read. The author is unknown but its message is of utmost importance

As my friend was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from the ropes they were tied to but for some reason, they did not. My friend saw a trainer nearby and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away.

"Well, he said, "when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size of rope to tie them and, at that age, it's enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free. " My friend was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn't they were stuck right where they were.

Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before?

How many of us are being held back by old, outdated beliefs that no longer serve us? How many of us have avoided trying something new because of a limiting belief? Worse, how many of us are being held back by someone else's limiting beliefs?

Whatever you can conceive and believe, you can achieve!

CHOSE not to accept the false boundaries and limitations created by the past.

STOP WASTING YOUR TIME COMPLAINING

People visit a wise man complaining about the same problems over and over again. one day, he decided to tell them a joke and they all roared with laughter.

After a few minutes, he told them the same joke and only a few of them smiled.

Then he told the same joke for a third time, but no one laughed or smiled anymore

The wise man smiled and said: 'You can't laugh at the same joke over and over. So why are you always crying about the same problem?"

Moral: Learn to laugh through it all and stop complaining, complains dont bring solution. Be patient, This too shall surely come to pass.

The Blood by Peace A

Peace Atulaegwu Anyanwu  better known by Her stage name Peace A, is an Engineer, A blogger, A song Writer, A leader and an Inspiring Worshipper. Her Songs are known to create an atmospher of God's presence by the Power of the HolySpirit at work in Her and Through her. Not only does she make awesome music, Her lyrics are rich in God's word and revelation and are nothing short of compelling. The Blood her third studio single talks about The things the Blood of Jesus does for us and to showcase the Power in the Blood of Jesus

Download here

https://musicparrot.com/peacea-theblood/

Thankful Thursday

The Thankful heart opens our eyes to a multitude of Blessings that continually surround us

The Power Of An Apology

Social Psychologist know that an apology leads to forgiveness, can recover a spoiled relationship, and may heal indignity. Saying "Sorry" denotes that you have chosen your relationship over your ego. Yet so many of us can't find the strength within us to admit our fault. Lets see what the main benefits of apologizing are, What the main obstacles are that hold us back from saying "I'm Sorry", and how to make a genuine apology.

THE BENEFITS OF APOLOGIZING

Apologizing is vital, since it helps to smooth any conflict and re-establish a spiritual connection with the partner. If you master the act of apologizing. it will help you reduce relationship stress and to move on from conflicts and tensions. There are many proven benefits of apologizing.

1. When you say that you are sorry, it restores the dignity of the hurt person and makes them feel better. The offended party, who receives the apology, develops empathy towards the offender, which then transforms their feeling of hurt into forgiveness.

2. An apology may restore trust and understanding to a relationship, because it contributes to a feeling of safety and makes both the receiver and the giver feel comfortable and respected. Apologizing therefore helps you and your loved one stay emotionally connected and strengthens the bond between you two.

3. When you make a sincere apology, and this trust and understanding gets restored, a person can start to see you in a different light. They will have a greater tendency to overlook your flaws and highlight your virtues.

4. As Guy Winch, psychologist and author of Emotional First Aid, reckons, "An effective apology doesn't just heal the wound for the other person, it will dissolve your guilt too." Eventually, you develop a sense of self-respect and the ability to move on quickly. it also serves as a deterrent, so that you dont repeat the same mistakes again\

Why is it so difficult to say "I'm Sorry"?

I'm Sorry"- This simple phrase is so hard to pronounce sometimes. The underlying reasons for this are varied, but the most common are:

1. When you apologize, you admit that you may be wrong, which is a threat to our ego and our pride. You should learn how to be objective and admit your mistakes, and not to allow your egocentrism to blind you.

2. Some people see an apology as a confirmation of guilt and as a result of responsibility for the conflict. They mistakenly believe that if they apologize , then the other person wouldn't realize his or her own wrong behavior. This is false. Apologizing  in fact opens the lines of communication and stimulates empathy  and understanding on both sides.

3. The apology is viewed as a means to draw attention to the mistake. This leads to a misguided implication that its better to ignore or deny offenses and hope that nobody will notice. But it doesn't matter how little the mistake is; if there is hurt involved, you should apologize rather than let it fester.

4. The person thinks that he or she is the one who deserve an apology first, so they wait for the partner to apologize. But this can be toxic for the relationship. Don't wait, make the first step: apologizing will only increase your self-respect, not diminish it.

5. The person might see an apology as a way of dwelling on the past, when they just want to move on. But if you move forward without first analyzing and understanding your actions and the hurt they caused, then you are likely to repeat your mistakes in the future.

6. Some people assume that apologizing is a sign of weakness, but actually it is a hall mark of strength. it is an act of generosity and an expression of hope for  a recrudescent relationship  it is in fact an act of bravery, because it subjects people to the risk of humiliation

7. The person believes that he or she is not worthy of forgiveness. They cling to excuses like he or she will never forgive me, so why should i even try? But thoughts like these can be extremely destructive to a relationship.

TIPS FOR GIVING A GENUINE APOLOGY

If you want to make a heartfelt apology and make the offended person feel better, then try to stick to these tips.

1.When you are sorry, mean it Deep regret goes further than just saying you are sorry. Deep regret says that if i could turn the clock back, and if i could do anything about it, i would have liked to have avoided it. "But before apologizing, recognize your fault and make the apology specific.

2. choose the timing carefully. A person might need time to heal wounds, but you shouldn't let grievances take root in the heart. Speak up if you are sorry for something you have done, and let them know that you are ready to discuss it when they are.

3. Take responsibility for your actions. Don't be defensive and don't look for excuses and explanations. The message, "I take responsibility for being angry and hurting you yesterday," is coherent and direct. Forget about any "buts" in your speech.

4. The manner is important. Make sure that your body language expresses what you feel. Always apologize in person, make eye contact, keep arms uncrossed, put away your phone and focus on the person. These clues will help show that you really do want to rebuild trust.

An apology cannot change what has been done, but it can help to ease the tension and relieve stress. Apologizing gives hope for rebuilding. if you value the relationship, then an honest apology can make the relationship go a long way

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY

1. Who you spend your time with will have a great impact on what kind of life you live. Spend time with the right people- Joel Osteen

2. When change happens, you have a choice of how you are going to respond. you can either lose your composure and react impetuously or use the event or situation as a learning opportunity to shift your mindset and respond appropriately. Begin to notice your responses when changes occur and do your best to choose a breakthrough over a break down - Susan C. Young

3. If you chase anything in life, chase the things that get you excited about living, chase the things that give you hope, happiness and a glimpse of a better life. Chase the things that make you want to be a better person, Chase the things that inspire you to think, create and live joyfully. Chase the things that make you want to transform your heart from selfish to selfless. When you chase those kind of storm you are chasing rainbows- Shannon L Alder

4. Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like and enjoying it for everything that is it -Mandy Hale

5. Experience is the teacher of all things - Julius Caesar

THANKFUL THURSDAY

Relationship Wednesday (Self Love)

Relationships

Good relationships are the foundation for success in all areas of your life.


This begins with your relationship with yourself. If you do not love yourself entirely and actively ensure your own needs are met, you will find it difficult to do the same for others.
Know this: However you treat yourself is how you will treat others. This is why, ironically the most selfless thing you can do is to be self centered (albeit not selfish).

Once you love and accept all aspects of yourself completely and treat yourself that way, once you become grounded and centered in your being, serving and empowering others will come naturally.

Imagining and looking back at yourself from the end of your life, ask yourself right now, "How well did I love myself? Was I my own best friend? Was I completely honest with myself?"
You see, it is easy- without realizing it- to neglect the one person in your life who is your partner in everything that you do and are: you
Practicing self love not only involves making sure your needs are met; it also means not subjecting yourself to environments, perspectives, relationships, and other commitments that dis-empower you.

Don't worry so much about being rude. It is more detrimental to both yourself and the other person to keep commitments that you are unable to uphold, then it is to cut the tie and be free, if you feel you are being anchored down

Ask yourself: "What kind of people did I surround myself with? Who supported me in fulfilling my destiny, and how did i support others in realizing theirs?" I n life, you can either unconditionally accept the relationships that are handed to you, or you can create connections that you find mutually fulfilling.

Ask yourself: "If I could do it over again, what values do i look for in a friend, life partner, mentor and business partner? What kind of brother, sister, son, husband, wife, father, mother, friend, teacher and student and what have i been?

RELATIONSHIP VALUES
You will also want to adopt a strong set of values to support your relationships. The ones i have chosen are Generosity,  assertiveness, discernment, and forgiveness.

GENEROSITY
There is no such thing as a stingy lover. It is good to give freely- with no strings attached. You will find that by being generous, others tend to respond favorably to you. What you give comes back to you in different ways. Generosity is one of the greatest virtues a person can embody, in my opinion.

ASSERTIVENESS
It is also crucial that you assert yourself in your relationship with others. Ask yourself, "Does the person with whom i am in a relationship with share my vision for our relationship. Whether it become romance, friendship, or business? Do you have the strength to set up boundaries and say "no" in your relationships? What are those boundaries? Are you honest and transparent with yourself and others, and are you able to assert your wishes clearly and respectfully?

Don't allow people to trade on you, bring you down, or take from you without permission. Knowing how to say "no" in relationships is as important as understanding how to say "Yes".

DISCERNMENT
Discernment is the ability to take a step back and assess whether your current relationships are resourceful to you or not.
Looking somewhat objectively at you life, you will realize which relationships are not resourceful for your greater vision. Maybe those friends who play video games every waking hour or not your crowd. Perhaps that woman, as beautiful as she is, might not be the best one for you to marry.
Whatever the case may be, you have to be discerning enough to examine your relationships.
Are the people in your life those whom you want to be surrounding yourself with, and are they supporting you on your mission?
The people with whom you associate have tremendous impact on your character and on your legend. As Jim Rohn said, "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." That is to say, if the five people you associate with are lazy, then you yourself may adopt that tendency.

FORGIVENESS
And finally, forgiveness is key.

Don't throw stones, because we all live in glass houses. The understanding that you yourself are imperfect- Just like everyone else - is  a prerequisite for being able to forgive. Give people the benefit of the doubt, without being naive.

Often times, forgiving the other person is better than "winning" an argument. It does not mean that they are justified in their error, but reprimanding them for their actions usually does not accomplish anything.
Forgiving someone else is as much for you, if not more, then it is for the other person.

CONCLUSION
Your relationship with yourself is the first and foremost most important thing that you could cultivate if you want to improve your outside relationships in general. It is the foundation of your character and how you interact with the world.

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY

Get yourself Motivated with these Words

1. If you see yourself as an artist, and you can see that your life is your own creation, then why not create the most beautiful story for yourself? - Miguel Ruiz

2. Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful - Joshua Marine

3. In essence, if we want to direct our lives, we must take control of our consistent actions. It's not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives, but what we do consistently- Tony Robbins

4. I find it sad that too many do not understand themselves, or their potential. They don't even take the time to get to know their unconsciousness. You can truly learn so much. by simply getting to know the "you" that is behind the reality of yourself - Lionel Suggs

5. By making yourself a life-long learner you will keep discovering new and exciting things about yourself  and others - Rachel Robins

How To Regain Broken Trust In A Relationship

Trust is the rock upon which all relationships exist. if that rock is chipped away by deceit,over time the foundation crumbles.

When something more serious happens such as infidelity in a marriage, the trust and foundation are broken in an instant. it is not easy to rebuild trust but it is possible.

Whether the trust is broken between a friendship or a marriage, the steps and formula for overcoming the broken trust are the same. In any relationship where trust is broken, both parties must be willing to work through the brokenness in order to heal the relationship. It is not a one sided process.
When the party who has been hurt does not want to reconcile because the hurt is too deep, then the relationship cannot be restored. Likewise, if the offending party does not want to own up to their wrong doing that broke the trust, then the relationship cannot be restored in that situation either.
Both sides must be willing to come to the table and be open, honest, and vulnerable. They must also care enough to want to put forth the effort that is required to make the relationship work again. It is not a one sided process.

In fact, it requires a great deal from both parties involved. There is a question to ask before you embark on restoration of the relationship: "is the person and relationship you had worth the emotional effort?" It's only a question you can answer for yourself. If you answered yes, and the other party has also said yes, then the formula below will help both parties work through the broken trust so the relationship can be restored.

The good news is that when using this formula, both parties can become more emotionally healthy and the relationship can be strengthened.

When trust is broken and both parties are willing to do what it takes in this formula to make the relationship work, then that relationship is strengthened and enhanced.

Some of the enhancements may include greater closeness, improved transparency, sincere vulnerability and open communications that create a better, longer lasting relationship.

HOW THE COME FORTH FORMULA REBUILD TRUST IN A RELATIONSHIP

The Come forth formula is a process that couples can go through to regain trust in their relationship. This process works for marriages, romantic relationships, friendships, co-workers, family members and more.
The goal of this method is to have healing to restore the relationship and for trust to be fully established once again.
The COME part of the formula is for the party that is the offender This is the person who did something that broke the trust in the relationship.
The FORTH part of the formula is for the receiving end. The person who was hurt and whose trust was broken is to use the FORTH part of the formula to work through the hurt to learn to trust again.
The COME FORTH formula is for both parties to work through the broken trust to help heal the relationship and themselves. It is not an easy or quick process for either party. It requires commitment, vulnerability, openness, and a willingness to communicate from both parties. When the come forth formula is completed correctly, the relationship can be restored.

FOR THE OFFENDER COME

 C: COME CLEAN
Now is the time to come clean about whatever it is that you have done to wrong your loved one, friend, co-worker, or someone else who you hurt by breaking their trust. it is better for you to admit your wrong doing and genuinely seek forgiveness before they find out from someone else.

• Before you approach the individual to come clean, know what you are going to say.

Make sure your heart is in a state of seeking forgiveness and wanting to heal the relationship by telling them.If you are angry and blaming them for your wrong doing in any way, then you are likely to cause more division rather than getting on the right path toward healing the relationship.

• When you are coming clean, begin with letting the other person know how much you value them which is why you are coming clean
• Show your remorse
• Be the calming force in the storm

O: OPEN YOUR SELF EMOTIONALLY

Once you have completed the first step and have come clean about your offence then the next step is to be open emotionally. What this really means is that you need to listen to the sincere thoughts and emotions from the person you have hurt.
1. Listen with empathy
2. Ask for forgiveness
3. This is also a time when you, the offending party, need to do some soul searching

M: MAKE MEANINGFUL CONVERSATIONS

Meaningful conversations following the coming clean and asking for forgiveness is the next step in the process of healing the broken trust. When emotions have calmed and anger has begun  to subside, the other party may be willing to sit down and hear why you did what you did.
Again, it is never appropriate to place blame back on the victim. Instead use what was revealed to you in your soul searching process as  a starting point for making meaningful conversations.
If the other person cares for you and your relationship then they will want to help you process through whatever fears or emotional difficulties you are experiencing that caused you to violate their trust.

• Talk openly about those fears and what caused you to do what you did to them.

It helps the other person realize that the issue was not with them. For example, you didn't cheat on your spouse because you didn't find them appealing anymore. It was because you have fear of abandonment issues. Talk about that fear and open up to the person you hurt. They deserve to understand why it happened. this will also help to lift the burden of responsibility from them.

• Understand the root cause

Finding out the real cause underneath of why the trust was violated helps those who have been victimized feel less burdened by any feelings of responsibility for the cause of the trust violation. The goal is understanding the root cause and the underlying emotional issues. so that healing can happen in the relationship.

E: ENGAGE IN FULL TRANSPARENCY

The fourth step for the person who has violated trust in the relationship is to engage in full transparency. This should be something offered up before even asking. if you are the offending part, you should desire for them to trust you again.

• Transparency will help bring back the trust

For example, if you were part of a charity planning event and you took money from the event for personal use, then you need to be fully transparent with the accounts and paper work with the other individuals working on the event.

FOR THE VICTIM: FORTH

F: FORGIVE

Forgiveness is the first step in healing the relationship on the end of the victim. Holding onto the hate, anger, and negative feelings will only make you feel worse.

• Let those feelings go by allowing yourself to forgive.

This doesn't mean that there aren't consequences, which you will come to terms with while engaging in meaningful conversation with the other person.

For example, If it is a situation where infidelity has occurred, then the transparency with phone and email records and such moving forward would be a consequence of the violation of your trust.

forgiveness means that you are willing to work through the wrong doings that occurred that broke the trust. You are willing to care for this person enough that you want to work with them emotionally to process through the pain to restore the relationship.

• If they haven't admitted their wrong doing, give them a few days after you discuss the matter initially. There are many times that the person who broke the trust is found out before they admit what they did wrong. They should still get the chance to come clean and make things right. This means that there must be a willingness to forgive before they even admit their wrong doing.
• Approach the person with empathy: You never know what kind of other issues they are dealing with in their heart, mind, and soul. Give them the courtesy of kind words and a calm tone of voice, for the sake of your relationship.
• If after your chosen time period of allowing them to digest your conversation they are still not willing to admit their wrong doing, you can take it to the next level.: This would be seeking someone of higher authority for counsel. This could, For example, be a marriage counselor in the case of infidelity.

O: OPEN CONVERSATIONS

This is the time when you need to share with the person who hurt you, how they hurt you.

• You need to express yourself using "I feel" statements: Expressing yourself with statements that begin with "I feel" approaches     
• A Word to the wise: Do not begin the blame game. If you start blaming them rather than using "I feel statements" then they are going to get on the defensive. 
• Write down the specific "I feel" statements before you go to the person in conversation: Again, do not approach the person with a group. Rather, the conversation is to be one on one. if you take multiple people or even one other person, they will feel that you are ganged up on them.\

R: REQUEST WHAT YOU NEED TO GET BACK TO A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP

This step goes hand-in-hand with the "O: Open conversations" Now is the time to discuss what happened and how things can be resolved.

• You need to discuss how the trust was broken, what is required to heal the relationship, and how your relationship will work moving forward: It is important that your requirements and expectation for the other party are reasonable. if you set the bar too high and expect too much, you are setting the person and relationship up for failure.
• Set reasonable expectations to regain trust: Things such as transparency with phone records, text and emails going forward is a reasonable expectation, Discuss these matters without making demands. Talk about what would make you feel comfortable and help to rebuild the trust. if the other party cares enough, they will be willing to meet your reasonable requests.

T: TALK ABOUT THE BETRAYAL TO A CONFIDANT OR PROFESSIONAL

Talk to a wise counsel on the matter of your trust being broken.

Talking with someone else will help you gain better understanding of the situation and your own feelings.

It will also help you process the emotions you have on this matter.
Allow yourself to open up to someone who can help you through this situation.

Using a professional such as a counselor is always a wise choice when seeking help about deeply personal matters.

• Don't keep your feelings inside

Trust broken can bring up all sort of feelings, emotions, and even past unresolved issues. When you keep these things inside and never unburden yourself emotionally by talking through things, you allow the emotions to fester.

H: HEAL YOURSELF TO HEAL THE RELATIONSHIP

Depending on the level of the pain inflicted and the sort of trust that was broken will determine how much healing you need. if for example, you found out that your spouse has cheated on you with your best friend, you are going to need some serious healing. This wont happen overnight. it involves time, patience with yourself, and professional help when needed.

A counselor is definitely recommended in situations of infidelity. Not only for couple

's counseling, but also for individual therapy for each party. The person who has been victimized has a lot to overcome emotionally.

Here are some ways that you can find healing process:

Find a support group for the particular experience you are going through.
Though there may not be support groups for all kinds of trust violations, there are for the major violations such as infidelity.

• Seek Individual counseling from a professional

As mentioned before, seeking professional help is good for both you and your partner.

• Journal about your experience.

Journal about your current feelings, and where you want yourself and the relationship to be in the future.

• Avoid bashing the person who broke your trust.
• Get all your questions answered.

HITTING THE RESET BUTTON ON THE RELATIONSHIP

When both parties have resolved to work through the broken trust to save the relationship then you can hit the reset button together. What this means is that you are both willing to work through the COME FORTH method to heal yourselves and the relationship.

You can't just say "Let's start over" because that won't solve any of the problems or heal the emotional issues.

You need to apply the COME FORTH method to work through it together and individually. Doing this will indeed reset the relationship and set it up for greater success.

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY

1. Free your self from your past mistakes, by forgiving yourself for what you have done or went through. Every day is another chance to start over- Unknown

2. It is less about becoming a better person, and more of being better, as a person - J.R. Rim

3. You can't litter negativity everywhere and then wonder why you have got a trashy life - Unknown

4. Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain - Vivian Greene

5. When you know what you want, and want it bad enough, you will find a way to get it - Jim Rohn

6. Free yourself from your past mistakes, by forgiving yourself for what you have done or went through. Everyday is another chance to start over- Unknown

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY

1. When obstacles arise, you change your direction to reach your goal, you do not change your decision to get there - Zig Ziglar

2. The Secret of Change is to Focus All of your Energy, Not on fighting the Old, But on Building the New - Socrates

3. The Pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty - Winston Churchill

4. You will never find time for anything. if you want time you must make it. - Charles Buxton

5. The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it. - Michaelangelo

6. The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why- Mark Twain

THANKFUL THURSDAY

A Story with a Moral - Being Thankful

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: "I am blind, Please help."
There were only a few coins in the hat. A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words. Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, "Were you theone who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?"
The man said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way. I wrote: "Today is a beautiful day but I cannot see it"
Both signs told people that the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. Teh second sign told people that they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be suprised that the second sign was more effective?

Moral: Be thankful for what you have... Be creative, Be innovative. Think differently and positively. When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regrets. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future with out fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear. The most beautiful thing is to see a person smiling.... And even more beautiful, Knowing that you are the reason behind it!!!

10 BEHAVIOURS THAT KEEP YOU FROM FINDING A RELATIONSHIP THAT WORKS

10 Behaviours That Keep You From Finding A Relationship that works

1. YOU ARE YET TO HEAL FROM THE HURT OF YOUR CHILDHOOD

Psychologist call your adult relationship style your 'attachment style' and they say that the way you bond with a romantic partner is based on how you learned love as a child. If your childhood years were not happy ones, it takes a lot of healing before you can find a relationship that works. Psychologists at Texas A&M University who looked at 144 Dating couples found that those with  anxious or avoidant attachment styles had more negative emotions and fewer emotions in their relationships. The partners with secure attachment styles were the ones who had the most positive emotions and the least negative emotions during their relationships. 

2. YOU APPLY THE DEAL BREAKER RULE TO EVERY DATE

Man Hands, Close talker, and the Double Dip were all reasons that Characters on the TV show Seinfield had to dump their dates. If you give dates deal- breaker status based on their negative behavior that is totally unfair. Sure, we all have deal breakers that will just get under our skin so we know to so we know to avoid those types of people, but you are not perfect either. Labeling your partner's negative behaviour while ignoring their positive traits is not giving them a fair deal. It's possible that this is one behavior that is keeping you from finding a relationship that works. Try focusing on the positive aspects of your next partner.

3. YOUR STANDARDS ARE TOO HIGH

You are looking for the never married lawyer in his 30's Who Graduated from Harvard University and have mansion in Banana Island, Rolls Royce and Perfect abs? Looking for someone who is either out of your league or who would have no reason to find value in you as a partner is one possible reason you haven't found a relationship that works.

4. LOVE HAS MADE YOU JADED

You are stuck in the negativity, regret and resentment about your past relationships, which is keeping you from finding a relationship that works. Who wants to be with someone who is only focused on the negativity? No one you should want to be with, that's for sure. Try to find the lesson from these past loves, let go, grow and open yourself up to only positivity

5. Low Self-Esteem

Low self-esteem is one possible trait that keeps you from finding a relationship that works. Its hard to love someone else fully until you can say the same about your relationship with yourself. (You cannot give out what you dont have) Lets focus on you for a while and then look for romance.

6. YOU ARE AFRAID OF WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU DIDN'T FIND THE RIGHT PERSON

Fear is not Uncommon for those who are single, and in this case it's fear of finding a relationship that works. Sometimes you fear losing your freedom, or losing the potential for another romantic partner who could be even better and who might come along when you aren't available. Sometimes, it is fear of success that keeps you from true love 

7. YOU ARE PURSUING SOMEONE WHO ISN'T SINGLE

Maybe he or she will leave their spouse, but in the meantime, you are trying yourself up with someone who isn't available, which means you are also not available to find someone who is looking for you.

8. YOU THINK YOU HAVE TO GIVE UP WHO YOU ARE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP

You should never have to sacrifice your personality for a romantic partner, so resolve to never let that happen and be ready for the possibility of a love where you can still be yourself and be in a relationship that works.

9. YOU KEEP REPEATING THE SAME PATTERN IN RELATIONSHIPS 

Similarly to your attachment style, if you are repeating old patterns of unhealthy relationship behavior, you may have some personal growth to do before you can be in a relationship that works. Living in the past just will not work for you in a relationship. Your partner wants you to live in the here and now with them, and if you can't let go of old, negative habits that don't serve you, you can't have a healthy relationship.

10. YOU FIND IT HARD TO TRUST

We get it, putting yourself out there to potentially be hurt can be emotionally scary, but you have to take a risk if you want the big payoff. It is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all. in order to have a deep love, you first must have trust, because the vulnerability to be hurt is a requirement of love. Otherwise, you are just sharing a closed heart with someone, which will keep you from finding a relationship that works.

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY

1. Challenges are what makes Life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful - Joshua Marine


2. I never dreamed about Success. I worked for it - Estee Lauder


3. You cannot afford to live in potential for the rest of your life; at some point, you have to unleash the potential and make your move. - Eric Thomas


4. It is never too late to be what you might have been- George Eliot


5. There is no greater disability in society than the inability to see a person as more - Robert M. Hensel


6. The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do - Swati Sharma

The Praying Hands (Inspirational)

Back in the fifteenth century, in a tiny village near Nuremberg, lived a family with eighteen children. Eighteen! In order merely to keep food on the table for his big family, the father, a goldsmith by profession, worked almost eighteen hours a day at his shop and any other paying work he could find in the neighbourhood. Despite their seemingly hopeless condition, two of the eldest children had a dream. They both wanted to pursue their talent for art, but they knew well that their father would never be financially able to send either of them to Nuremberg to study at the Academy.

After many long discussions at night in their crowded bed, the two boys finally worked out a pact. They would toss a coin. The loser would go down into the nearby mines and with his earnings, support his brother while he attended the academy. The winner of the toss will attend the academy first and complete his study. Once, the first winner of the toss completes his study, he will help the other brother to attend the academy and support him financially by selling arts or working at the mines if necessary.

They tossed a coin on a Sunday morning after church. Albrecht Durer, one of the brother won the toss and went off to Nuremberg. Albert, the other brother went to work at the mines and for the next four years, financed his brother, whose work at the academy was almost an immediate sensation. Albrecht’s etchings, his woodcuts, and his oils were far better than most of his professors. By the time he graduated, he was beginning to earn considerable fees for his commissioned works.

When the young artist returned to his village, the Durer family held a festive dinner on their lawn to celebrate Albrecht’s triumphant homecoming. After a long and memorable meal, punctuated with music and laughter, Albrecht rose from his honoured position at the head of the table to drink a toast to his beloved brother for the years of sacrifice that had enabled Albrecht to fulfil his ambition. His closing words were, “And now, Albert, blessed brother of mine, now it is your turn. Now you can go to Nuremberg to pursue your dream and I will take care of you.”

All heads turned in eager expectation to the far end of the table where Albert sat, tears streaming down his pale face, shaking his lowered head from side to side while he sobbed.

Finally, Albert rose and wiped the tears from his cheeks. He glanced down the long table at the faces he loved, and then, holding his hands close to his right cheek, he said softly, “No, brother. I cannot go to Nuremberg. It is too late for me. Look what four years in the mines have done to my hands! The bones in every finger have been smashed at least once, and lately, I have been suffering from arthritis so badly in my right hand that I cannot even hold a glass to return your toast, much less make delicate lines on parchment or canvas with a pen or a brush. My brother, for me, it is too late.”

More than 450 years have passed. By now, Albrecht Durer’s hundreds of masterful portraits, pen and silver-point sketches, watercolours, charcoals, woodcuts, and copper engravings hang in every great museum in the world, but the odds are great that you, like most people, are familiar with only one of Albrecht Durer’s works. More than merely being familiar with it, you very well may have a reproduction hanging in your home or office.

One day, to pay homage to Albert for all that he had sacrificed, Albrecht Durer painstakingly drew his brother’s abused hands with palms together and thin fingers stretched skyward. He called his powerful drawing simply “Hands,” but the entire world almost immediately opened their hearts to his great masterpiece and renamed his tribute of love “The Praying Hands.”

Moral: The next time you see a copy of that touching creation, take a second look. Remember the sacrifice others may have made for your success in life. Always, respect them and care for them as what they could have done for themselves, they did that for your happiness.

HAPPY VALENTINE DAY

Valentine's Day is the Holiday of Romance. Romance is love in its active state, ignited and inspired. Valentine's Day may feel like a holiday forced on us by the Greeting Card, Jewelry and Floral industries, but the truth is that we have accepted it because we recognize and value its purpose. Love that never inspires romance is stagnant and stale.
Valentine's Day is an opportunity to ignite our existing relationship with romance, and love with an added dose of romance will result in a stronger, longer lasting and far more satisfying relationship

So take time out of your busy schedule to wish your loved ones a happy Val day and At least buy them something.


HAPPY VALENTINE DAY TO YOU ALL FROM PAB.

The Seven Wonder (Inspiration)

Anna was a 9-year-old girl from the small village. She finished attending elementary school till 4th grade at her village. For the 5th grade onward, She will have to get an admission in a school at a city nearby. She got very happy knowing that she was accepted in a very reputed school in a city. Today was the first day of her school and she was waiting for her school bus. Once the bus came, She got in it quickly. She was very excited.

Once the bus reached to her school, all students started going to their classes. Anna also made it to her classroom after asking fellow students for direction. Upon seeing her simple clothing and knowing she is from a small village, other students started making fun of her. The teacher soon arrived and she asked everyone to keep quiet. She introduced Anna to the class and told that she will be studying with them only from today.

Then the teacher told the students to be ready for the surprise test now! She told everyone to write down the 7 wonders of the World. Everyone started writing the answer quickly. Anna started to write the answer slowly. When everyone except Anna had submitted their answer paper, the teacher came and asked Anna, "What happened Dear? Don't Worry, Just write what you know as other students have learned about it just a couple of days back".

Anna replied, "I was thinking that there are so many things, which 7 I can pick to write!" And, then she handed her answer paper to the teacher. The teacher started reading everyone's answers and the majority had answered them correctly such as The Great Wall of China, Colosseum, Stonehedge, Great Pyramid of Giza, Leaning Tower of Pisa, Tajmahal, Hanging Gardens of Babylon etc.

The teacher was happy as students had remembered what she had taught them. At last the teacher picked up Anna's answer paper and started reading

"The 7 Wonders are - To be able to See, To be able to Hear, To be able to Feel, To laugh, To Think, To be Kind, To Love!"

The teacher stood stunned and the whole class was speechless. Today, a girl from the small village reminded them about the precious gifts that God has given us, Which are truly a wonder.


Moral: Value what you have, use what you have, trust what you have. You don't always have to look away to find an inspiration. God has given you all the strength to reach your goals.

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY

Let these words motivate and inspire you

1. We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated - Maya Angelou

2.  Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the things you did - Mark Twain

3. Believe in yourself! Have Faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy - Norman Vincent Peale

4. In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision - Dalai Lama

5. Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life- Steve Jobs                                      

6. Be happy so when others look at you they become happy too- Unknown                                            

A story that can change your life (Inspiration)

In 1972, Jim Cathcart was working at the Little Rock, Arkansas Housing Authority, making $525 a month, with a new wife and baby at home, no college degree, no past successes, and not much hope for the foreseeable future.

One morning, he was sitting in his office listening to the radio, to a program called "Our Changing World" by Earl Nightingale, who was known as "the Dean of Personal Motivation." That day, Nightingale, in his booming voice, said something that would change Jim's life forever: "If you will spend an extra hour each day in study of your chosen field, you will be a national expert in that field in five years or less."

Jim was stunned, but the more he thought about it the more it made sense. Although he had never given a speech, he had always wanted to help people grow in areas of personal development and motivation. He began his quest to put Nightingale's theory to the test by reading books and listening to tapes whenever he could. He also started exercising, became better organized, and joined a self-improvement study group. He persisted through weeks of temptations to quit, just by doing a little more each day to further his goal. Within six months he had learned more than he had in his few years of college, and he began to believe he could turn his goal of becoming a motivational speaker into reality. All the hard work, the discipline, and study paid off. Jim now has delivered more than 2,500 speeches worldwide and has won every major award in the speaking industry.

Just like companies have market value, so do people. In the simplest terms, your market value increases by knowing and doing more. Knowledge is power, not only for your career, but also to improve your family and spiritual life. I once heard a quote that sums it up well, "Knowledge is like climbing a mountain; the higher you reach the more you can see and appreciate."

I love stories because for me, they can bring an idea to life.

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY

MOTIVATIONAL MONDAY

1. Setting goals is the first step into turning the invisible into the visible- Tony Robbins

2. Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly

3. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck                        

4.  Staying positive does not mean that things will turn out okay. Rather it is knowing that you will be okay no matter how things turn out. 

5. No matter how hard times may get, always hold your head up and be strong; show them you are not as weak as they think you are.