Its perfectly normal to have times when you feel more or less in love with your partner. Yet, its painful to have lulls in relationship that leave you feeling hopeless or questioning its future. At these times, even if you have lists of issues you know are causing problems with your partner, it can still somehow be hard to pinpoint why you lost the loving feelings that once overcame you. you may still "love" the person. you may still want it to work with him or her. But you just can't seem to access that free flow of fondness, that ease of give and take, that made you light up and look forward to each day you would spend together. Here i want to talk about proactive actions you can take to reconnect with what you felt when you fell in love, actions that break a fantasy bond and prove that real love is still alive and accessible.
1. Resist entering a critical mode
2. Treat your partner with kindness
3. Take advantage of what you love about your partner
4. Share lively, non-routine experiences
5. Maintain and support you and your partners individual interests
6. Talk personally
7. Don't give up intimacy
8. Find healthy ways to vent
9. Reconnect with who you were when you fell in love
Most of the steps presented here are easier said than done for one fundamental reason. Staying in love means staying close to feelings - all feelings. its when you are in real love that you can experience real loss. Hurt exists. Joy comes with sadness, and its sometimes easier to live at a distracting distance than to allow yourself to go all in. falling back in love isn't a passive tumble into the past, but a leap of faith you actively take and continue to take everyday you choose to be together.
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