The 5 Love Languages

The Pain And The Taste of Life (Inspiring Story)

An experienced and wise man grew tired of his apprentice always complaining. One morning he sent his apprentice for some salt.

When the apprentice returned the master instructed the unhappy young man to put a handful of salt in a glass of water and drink it.

How does it taste? the master asked "Bitter" spit the apprentice
The master chuckled and then asked the young man to put a handful of  salt in the lake nearby. The two walked to the lake nearby After the apprentice swirled his handful of salt into the water, the old man then said "now drink from the lake" 
As the water dripped from the man's chin, the master asked, "now how does it taste"?
"Fresh and Sweet" Remarked the apprentice
"Do you taste the salt?" asked the master
 No" said the young man
At this the master sat besides the young man who so reminded him of himself at one time, and held his hands
He told the young man, "The pain of life is pure salt, no more no less".
The amount of pain in life, remains exactly the same. However the amount of bitterness we taste depends on the container we put it in. So when you are in pain, the only thing you can do is to enlarge your sense of things.....
So stop being a glass, become a lake

How To Fall Back In Love With Your Partner

How to fall back in love with your partner

Its perfectly normal to have times when you feel more or less in love with your partner. Yet, its painful to have lulls in relationship that leave you feeling hopeless or questioning its future. At these times, even if you have lists of issues you know are causing problems with your partner, it can still somehow be hard to pinpoint why you lost the loving feelings that once overcame you. you may still "love" the person. you may still want it to work with him or her. But you just can't seem to access that free flow of fondness, that ease of give and take, that made you light up and look forward to each day you would spend together. Here i want to talk about proactive actions you can take to reconnect with what you felt when you fell in love, actions that break a fantasy bond and prove that real love is still alive and accessible.

1. Resist entering a critical mode
2. Treat your partner with kindness
3. Take advantage of what you love about your partner
4. Share lively, non-routine experiences
5. Maintain and support you and your partners individual interests
6. Talk personally
7. Don't give up intimacy
8. Find healthy ways to vent
9. Reconnect with who you were when you fell in love

Most of the steps presented here are easier said than done for one fundamental reason. Staying in love means staying close to feelings - all feelings. its when you are in real love that you can experience real loss. Hurt exists. Joy comes with sadness, and its sometimes easier to live at a distracting distance than to allow yourself to go all in. falling back in love isn't a passive tumble into the past, but a leap of faith you actively take and continue to take everyday you choose to be together.

THE WIFE AND THE DIRTY LAUNDRY (INSPIRING STORY)

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood, The next morning while they are eating breakfast the young woman sees her neighbour hang the wash outside.

The laundry is not very clean she says, she doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs a better laundry soap. Her husband looked on, but remained silent . Every time her neighbour will hang her wash to dry, the woman will make the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was suprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband, "Look! she has learnt how to wash correctly, i wonder who taught her this"

The husband said: "I got up early this morning to clean our windows"!

: What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look. Before we give any criticism it might be a good idea to check the state of our mind and ask ourselves if we are ready to see the good rather than to be looking for something in the person we are about to judge."

4 SIGNS THAT ITS TIME TO GET OUT OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Relationships require a vast investments of time, money, and most of all, emotional energy. The more you invest in a relationship, the more it shapes your choices and ultimately your life. When you have so much invested, it can be hard to let go, for reasons such as worrying about the impact on the kids, wondering if you have really put forth enough effort to work things out, or the fear of being alone. But when a relationship deteriorates, there is inevitably always a time when the damage has been done, and no amount of salvaging can save it. Knowing when to let go is key to being able to cut your losses, maintain your own mental health and well-being, and move forward toward the better relationship you deserve. Following are four signs that it's time to let go of a relationship. If even one of these exists, it is likely enough of a reason to move on.

1. The goodness is gone.

While chemistry and shared values are important, at the end of the day, solid relationships are built on the goodness that exists between two people. Goodness is what holds relationships together. It is the kindness and good will toward each other. It's being on a partner’s side even when they might be wrong. It's the willingness to forgive flaws and mistakes and to tolerate annoying habits. It’s the support, admiration, respect, dedication, and commitment you have with each other. The goodness doesn’t generally disappear overnight; it’s erodes slowly over time. Behaviors that indicate that the goodness may be waning include chronic irritability, anger, distance, meanness, and lack of respect of any kind. Unfortunately, once the goodness fades, there has generally been so much hurt in the relationship that it is very hard to regain.

2. You are being disrespected.

Respect is one of the most important aspects of any relationship; it even trumps trust, because you cannot trust someone who disrespects you. Even small slights matter, because the way someone treats you ultimately reveals their character and their true feelings about you. Disrespect can come in many forms, and you may not always fully recognize it on the surface, but you will always feel it. It's that kicked-in-the-gut feeling you get when some normative expectation within the relationship has been violated. Behaviors such as insults, lying, or cheating are all signs of disrespect and what they really reveal is a lack of concern about how you feel and how these behaviors affect you.

If you’re not sure if a partner is being disrespectful or just unaware, tell them how their behavior is making you feel, and see what happens. If he or she makes an effort to understand your perspective and alter their behavior, they are showing you that they care, but if they dismiss you or go right back to the same behavior, they are showing a lack of respect for you and your relationship.

3. You are trying too hard.

The energy flow between two people in most healthy relationships is generally fairly equal. The give-and-take should allow both partners, for the most part, to feel they are getting their needs met. When a relationship starts to deteriorate, it can feel like one person is doing all the work to maintain it, which creates an unbalance and a disconnect. The person doing all the work can become resentful, and the person on the receiving end can become more and more complacent. When you try too hard to get someone to come toward you, they generally move in the opposite direction. If you feel you’ve been doing most of the work in your relationship lately, take a big step back and see what happens. If your partner starts to pick up the slack and come toward you, then the possibility of re-aligning the energy still exists. If, however, you step back and your partner gets angry or continues to drift further away, then chances are, he or she isn’t coming back.

4. it’s all about the other person.

While every relationship is different, both people should generally feel there is room for them to grow and develop, and to feel like their individual dreams and aspirations in life matter. They should feel there is space for their interests to be included in the relationship, and that there is enough opportunity for each of their needs to be met. Relationships that are unbalanced in this respect tend to revolve around one person. The person around whom the relationship revolves is generally satisfied with this arrangement, while the other ends up feeling resentful and used, and like they are living someone else’s life. If you feel like your relationship is all about the other person, try creating some space for yourself and being vocal about your needs; if your partner gets upset or isn’t responsive, then it is likely that to find yourself and maintain your own identity, you may have to move on. 

Saying goodbye is never easy, but maintaining your self-respect and dignity is key to your mental well-being, and sometimes letting go is the best thing you can do for yourself. Know that when you take care of you, you are putting yourself in the best possible position to be in a happy, healthy, and fulfilling relationship, and hopefully it is just a matter of time before you find one.