2017 End Of Year Message

Going through things you never thought you would go through will only take you places you never thought you will get to.
One day you will look back and see that all along you were blooming
Happy New year in advance
Much love from Peace Atulaegwu

The Gold Wrapping Paper- Inspirational Christmas story

The Gold Wrapping Paper - An Inspirational Short Christmas Story

Once upon a time, there was a man who worked very hard just to keep food on the table for his family. This particular year a few days before Christmas, he punished his little five-year-old daughter after learning that she had used up the family's only roll of expensive gold wrapping paper.

As money was tight, he became even more upset when on Christmas Eve he saw that the child had used all of the expensive gold paper to decorate one shoebox she had put under the Christmas tree. He also was concerned about where she had gotten money to buy what was in the shoebox.

Nevertheless, the next morning the little girl, filled with excitement, brought the gift box to her father and said, "This is for you, Daddy!"

As he opened the box, the father was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, now regretting how he had punished her.

But when he opened the shoebox, he found it was empty and again his anger flared. "Don't you know, young lady," he said harshly, "when you give someone a present, there's supposed to be something inside the package!"

The little girl looked up at him with sad tears rolling from her eyes and whispered: "Daddy, it's not empty. I blew kisses into it until it was all full."

The father was crushed. He fell on his knees and put his arms around his precious little girl. He begged her to forgive him for his unnecessary anger.

An accident took the life of the child only a short time later. It is told that the father kept this little gold box by his bed for all the years of his life. Whenever he was discouraged or faced difficult problems, he would open the box, take out an imaginary kiss, and remember the love of this beautiful child who had put it there.

In a very real sense, each of us has been given an invisible golden box filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children, family, friends and God. There is no more precious possession anyone could hold.

How To Keep The Fire Burning in a Relationship

To keep the fire burning in your relationship, there are certain things everyone need to do every day.
Below are 6 things you should do daily to keep the fire burning in your relationship

Be spontaneous: “Being spontaneous in your relationship helps keep your relationship refreshing and exciting too, creating unexpected moments in your relationship daily will help prevent your relationship from stagnation”.
Don’t forget to say thank you: “When was the last time you told your partner thank you? I bet many can’t even remember, to keep the fire burning in your relationship, it’s important you appreciate your partner daily”.
Listen: “It’s amazing how something so easy as listening can be so difficult to do, learn to listen to your partner without being distracted by your phone; if you value your relationship, learn to listen to your partner without being distracted”.
Honesty at all times: “Being honest only when it’s convenient for you isn’t honesty, you also have to be honest with your partner even when it’s not convenient for you and that’s what it means to be honest”.

Love yourself: “How can you love your partner when you don’t know how to love yourself? Learn to do the things that make you happy and fulfilled always, your relationship will definitely benefit from you being happy and fulfilled”.
Tell your partner how much you love him or her: “Never let a day go by without letting your partner know how much you love him or her; if you are really serious about keeping the fire burning in your relationship, these three words “I love you” should be said to your partner daily and make sure you don’t just say it, mean it”.

I married into a wicked family, A lady cries out, after the following conversation took place between her and her mother in-law

The below Whatsapp conversation between a Wife and her mother-in-law is chilling and absurd.
The Whatsapp was shared with Relationship expert, Joro Olumofin.
The woman wrote;
“I am losing my mind. I am lonely and upset. I have been crying for weeks. I haven’t take a shower in 3 days my children are missing school. This is not the first time he’s doing it.
My husband has not been at home in 6 days now. He doesn’t even want to talk to me. The last time he left for 3 days but at least he was in communication with me. Then. Now hes not answering my calls and he’s active on social media. He blocked me so I won’t send him a message.
I used my friends page to view him. Joro we have 2 children together, what is this? I am so weak. I would have taken overdose if not for these children. To make matters worst his diabolical mother is now covering up for him and insulting me.
I have been tolerating her. I never knew she was this wicked. What do I do? I want to leave with my children and leave the house for him. I have my own money. I called his sister this morning who was also rude to me on the phone.
I married into a family of wickedness. I need to talk to someone. I can’t do this again. My son has been asking for his father. I am so weak. There’s this girl I think he’s with. She’s a corper but I don’t know her name or handle. I have been driving round to see where I can find him. God help me.”
Screenshots of the whatsapp chats below;

The rush for even the lowest paying jobs in the country now is alarming. The fact remains that there are jobs, but some job seekers can't just know how to get it
I am going to give you some funny methods that people i know personally have used to get jobs for themselves. it boils down to you to apply them. These secret ways are funny but true. You might find it amusing, but take time to think about it.

1. Offer to work for free:
If you know any top organization that is close to you or you think you wish to work for, submit your CV and state in your cover letter that you are willing to work for free. it will sound somehow but human psychology tells me that if you are accepted, you will most likely be paid something tangible . working for free give you an advantage of gaining work experience.
Along the line, if they find your presence very useful, it results to automatic employment. What a secret , but funny way to get that job. A friend tried it and he works with the company full-time now on a much higher pay-grade

2. Join a church department
This is one hell of a funny way to get a job in Nigeria. They will appreciate your hard work and will get to know more about you. Tell them the truth about yourself. No need to sugar coat your situation.

3. Approach Job agents
They are almost every around you. The difference between you and those guys are the fact that they possess powerful networks. those guys know lots of firms and most times they are the ones that recruit for the firms. i got  a job once upon a time through this funny method. meet them and negotiate with them; a job is a job as long as it pays the bills. I know that submitting a CV online and offline is great but you don't have the information those guys have.

4. Advertise yourself
This one is already common and we have seen it work. Anywhere you dim it fit to advertise drop the shame and do the needful. i wouldn't ask you to stand on the road with a cardboard sheet and shout, but there are other ways to pass your message across. i once saw a guy advertise his qualifications using facebook Ads which costs less than $3, and i believe you know the reach that it has. There are other online platforms that can really help you spread your message to potential employers. i even saw one advert on Naira land and i believe it worked for whoever posted it.
Do yourself a favour and think outside the box. if you don't blow your own trumpet, nobody will do that for you. There are other ways to get a Job in Nigeria, but i will drop at this junction , to those who have used a method before, do well to tell us more using the comment session thanks.

Ladies, If you notice These 9 Signs, Your Boyfriend Isn't Ready to Propose

Ever been in a relationship for too long? Here's how to know if your boyfriend will ever propose or not.
1. He avoids weddings
When a guy isn't squeamish about marriage, he will definitely become much more excited about attending weddings, and he will want you to come with him, if your man hates going to other people's nuptials, that's a good sign he isn't ready for his own.

2. He doesn't talk about getting married.
If you bring up the topic of marriage and he changes the subject as fast as possible, marriage isn't on his mind. if he has an aversion to the M-word , he's subtly letting you know that marriage probably isn't part of his plan in the foreseeable future. Likewise, when you are with other people and the topic of marriage or children is brought up, pay attention to how your boyfriend reacts. Does he quickly change the subject (bad) or does he ever say things like "When I get married..." (good)

3. He doesn't plan
If your boyfriend only makes plans for the immediate or short term, marriage likely isn't a priority. Perhaps he's always ready to make a date for this week or the weekend, but rarely commits to the distant future. if he's hesitant to make plans six months from now, your future together may not be a sure thing.

4. He comes up with excuses
Men are simple creatures. When they want something, you will know. if they are constantly making excuses about marriage or the future, it's time to realize that something's wrong. if he's too busy and stressed to talk about it, or he has too much going on to focus on buying a ring, your future together isn't looking so bright. Any excuse isn't a good thing. if your boyfriend blames his lack of interest in marriage on work or family, he isn't as eager to walk down the aisle as you are.

5. He says he's happy with the way things are
Plan and simple, if your man tells you he is happy with the way things are or he doesn't want to ruin the special relationship you have, he has no intention of taking your relationship to the next level.

6. He likes living in the past
Pay attention to what your boyfriend enjoys reminiscing about. Does he make references to how great the last vacation you guys took was? or does he constantly and longingly tell stories about his college days? if he enjoys talking about his breaks or mentions how much he misses going out every night with his friends , he's probably not mature enough to wed just yet.

7. He has no interest in your future.
When you mention your future, if he seems completely uninterested in what you have planned, he isn't looking to build a life together.

8. He prefers to hang out with other single men
Are your boyfriend's friends mostly married or mostly single? if he only wants to surround himself with happy bachelors instead of having a healthy mix of single and married friends, he's not rushing to take things to the next step

9. He hasn't mentioned starting a family
Men don't have a baby clock ticking like women do , nor do most men yearn for children the way some women do. In a man's brain, having a family is a natural thing that will happen once you are married. However, if he's unwillingly to discuss having a family, he may not be ready to walk down the aisle.

A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE, MAKES YOU THANKFUL

One day the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family
On their return from their trip the father asked his son, how was the trip?
"It was great dad"
"Did you see how poor people live?"
The father asked.
"O yeah", said the son

"Did you see how poor people live?"
The father asked.
"Oh yeah" said the son.
"So tell me what did you learn from this Trip? "The father asked
The son answered "I saw that we have one dog and they had four".
We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. we have imported lanterns in our garden and they have stars at night"

"Our Patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight"
"We have servants to serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. we have walls around our property to protect us they have friends to protect them"

The boy's father was speechless. Then His son added "Thanks dad for showing me how poor we are"

ISN'T PERSPECTIVE A WONDERFUL THING? MAKES YOU WONDER WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF WE ALL GAVE THANKS FOR EVERYTHING WE HAVE, INSTEAD OF WORRYING ABOUT WHAT WE DONT HAVE

A Twenty-Three years old serving National Youth Service Corps (NYSC), Miss Tawose Modupe, has been allegedly murdered by a man she engaged to teach her how to drive.

The suspect, Festus Udoh, 29, allegedly lured the victim, who until her death was serving in Ogun State, into a forest where he killed her.
She was declared missing last Saturday, and after investigation and search, the Ogun Police arrested Udoh, who confessed of murdering her.
The suspect told the police that he lured her into a forest, near Abule Ayo in Mawuko village in Odeda Local Council of the State.
Udoh confessed to killing the lady because she threatened to inform her parents that she was raped by the suspect.
The State Commissioner of Police, Mr. Ahmed Iliyasu, who paraded the suspect, said he had confessed to committing the crime.
The commissioner explained that the police received complaint of missing person from the State Coordinator of the National Youth Service Corps (NYSC), Mr. John Okon, and “immediately went into action.”
The suspect confessed that he dragged the girl into the bush, had sex with her and later strangled her to death.
When asked how he knew her, he said: “I knew her where she came to learn how to drive. My boss asked me to get Learner’s Permit for her at Oke-mosan, a suburb of Abeokuta.”
“She did not come to collect the permit and, after a week, she called that she wanted to collect it. I told her I was no longer at the driving school and she agreed to come and collect it.
“ I called her to come to Lafenwa, a suburb of Abeokuta and collect it. She came to Lafenwa and I later told her I wanted to have sex with her. She disagreed. I dragged her into a nearby bush and had sex with her. I killed her when she threatened to report me to her family. I tore her cloth the strangle her. ..”
The police said: “We went for a technical screening of fact left behind by the last person she made contact with, who is also the suspect. We were able to arrest him.
“She registered with him in a driving school by name Lizzy Driving school in Abeokuta.
“The man tactically and deceitfully convinced her on Saturday evening that her driving permit was ready.
“She decided to answer to his call and he cleverly and deceitfully brought her to this forest where he had a forceful and unlawful carnal knowledge of her and thereafter, strangled her to death.
“The passport photographs of the suspect were found at the scene of the incident which is a remarkable scene of crime evidence,” he said.
PAB saw the remains of the victim at the crime scene, naked as her jean trouser, was half removed while her shirt was torn.
The commissioner said the victim’s family had been contacted. He called on members of the public to be careful of the kind of persons they deal or relate with.

A Very Special Bank Account

Imagine you had a bank account that deposited N86,400 each morning. The account carries over no balance from day to day, allows you to keep no cash balance, and every evening cancels whatever part of the amount you had failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw out every Naira each day!
We all have such a bank. Its name is Time. Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever time you have failed to use wisely. It carries over no balance from day to day. It allows no overdraft so you can’t borrow against yourself or use more time than you have. Each day, the account starts fresh. Each night, it destroys an unused time. If you fail to use the day’s deposits, it’s your loss and you can’t appeal to get it back.
There is never any borrowing time. You can’t take a loan out on your time or against someone else’s. The time you have is the time you have and that is that. Time management is yours to decide how you spend the time, just as with money you decide how you spend the money. It is never the case of us not having enough time to do things, but the case of whether we want to do them and where they fall in our priorities.

THE RIGHT PLACE

A mother and a baby camel were lying around under a tree.
Then the baby camel asked, “Why do camels have humps?”
The mother camel considered this and said, “We are desert animals so we have the humps to store water so we can survive with very little water.”
The baby camel thought for a moment then said, “Ok…why are our legs long and our feet rounded?”
The mama replied, “They are meant for walking in the desert.”
The baby paused. After a beat, the camel asked, “Why are our eyelashes long? Sometimes they get in my way.”
The mama responded, “Those long thick eyelashes protect your eyes from the desert sand when it blows in the wind.
The baby thought and thought. Then he said, “I see. So the hump is to store water when we are in the desert, the legs are for walking through the desert and these eye lashes protect my eyes from the desert then why in the Zoo?”

The Lesson: Skills and abilities are only useful if you are in the right place at the right time. Otherwise they go to waste.

4 TIPS ON HANDLING CONFLICTS IN A RELATIONSHIP

4 TIPS ON HANDLING CONFLICTS IN  A RELATIONSHIP

1. DONT ARGUE IN PUBLIC:
Conflicts should never be dealt with in a setting where other people can eavesdrop in. What ends up happening is either you or her will feel like you have been put on the spot. Like before maintain your composure and wait until you get home before continuing. And if she is the one that starts the conflict, then in a calm manner let her know that you two will deal with it later and then talk about something else

2. KEEP YOUR EMOTIONS UNDER CONTROL
Don't let emotions get out of control, keep your cool even if she's screaming in your face. Yes I know how hard it can be to keep your cool. but try your best to keep your emotions and especially your ACTIONS under control. it will make things a lot easier and allows you to see her side to the story without letting your animal instincts come out and try to "win" the argument.

3. REALLY LISTEN TO WHAT SHE IS SAYING
Don't do anything else but listen to her.
There is a reason why the issue came up. shut up and listen to her viewpoint while having zero judgments. look past what she's saying and really see how what she's saying impacts the relationship. when she realizes that you are really listening and trying to understand her viewpoint, she will lower her defenses. This will cause her

4. DON'T LET IT BECOME IMMATURE
You are not going to make things better by calling her names or making friends pick sides. This is something that only you and her will have to deal with. it is good to get another person's perspective on things but ultimately, how the issue is handled should be up to you. And please do not resort to being  physical with her.

A student asked a teacher, “Why often people marry a different person than they fell in love with?”  The teacher said, “in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the best wheat and come back.  But the rule is that you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.”  The student went to the field, went through the first row, he saw one big wheat which he instantly liked, but he wonders that maybe there is a bigger one further.  Then he saw another bigger one, but again he thought that maybe there is an even bigger one waiting for him.
Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he started to realize that the wheat is not as big as the ones he let go off, he started to realize that he had missed the best one in the search of a bigger.  So, he ended up going back to the teacher with an empty hand because he just wasn’t able to forgive himself for letting go of the best wheat and described what happened.  The teacher told him, “You kept looking for a better one while letting go of the best one and later when you realize that you have missed that, you can’t go back.  This is the mistake often made by people who fell in love and lost the best person they could have in their life”.
So, the student said, “Does that mean, one should never fall in love?”  The Teacher replied, “No Dear,  Anyone can fall in love if they find a suitable person.  But, once you truly fall in love, you must never let go of that person due to your anger, ego or comparisons with others”.
“How do they end up marrying someone other than they loved?” the student asked.  The teacher said, “in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is same as before, you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.”  The student went to the corn field, this time he was careful to not to repeat the previous mistake.  When he reached to the middle of the field, he picked one medium corn that he felt satisfied with and went back to the teacher.  He described how he made a choice.  The teacher told him, “This time you didn’t came empty handed.  You looked for one that is just nice, and you had put your faith that this is the best one you can get.  This is how one makes a choice for marriage.”
The student stood confused.  The teacher asked, “What is bothering you now?”  The student replied, “I am wondering which would have been better, marrying a person you love or loving the person you marry”.  The teacher replied, “It’s a very easy answer, only if you are willing to admit it to yourself”.

Moral:  Life is like a basket of fruits. Either you have to make a choice of eating the fruit you love or be content with something that is healthy!  Choose wisely else you may have to spend your life wondering, what if..  As long as you stay true to yourself and honest, you can’t go wrong with any of these two choices.

HOW IT USED TO BE
FLASH BACK FRIDAY

I remember how it used to be
When nothing else matter but you and me
Music, goals and future dreams

I miss you, I wish you could see
Although you are here, I miss you and me

I remember when you said how happy I made you and you really meant it.... Now its just a phrase you say without thinking

I miss those days when you would call, just to say "hi" or "I love you" the days it was so hard just to say good bye for a while.....

 

I remember how wonderful it felt, the first time you held me in your hand and after all those years, you still made my heart melt

 

I miss the old you, the old me 

The old us that could just sit and talk for hours

and never run out of things to say

I remember when time simply stood still 

When in each others arm is the only place we wanted to be forever

I miss us, as i remember how it used to be

When nothing else matter but you and me

P.S: The poem was originally written by someone i don't know, as i was surfing the net, i came across it and felt so many of us can relate to it. so i decided to put it up on my blog. its flash back Friday. we can all have something to flash our minds back on

I

 

 remember how it used to be
when nothing else matter but you and me
music, country roads, and future dreams.

I miss you, I wish you could see
although you are here, I miss you and me.

Source: http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/how-it-used-to-be

I remember how it used to be
when nothing else matter but you and me
music, country roads, and future dreams.

I miss you, I wish you could see
although you are here, I miss you and me.

Source: http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/how-it-used-to-be

I remember how it used to be
when nothing else matter but you and me
music, country roads, and future dreams.

I miss you, I wish you could see
although you are here, I miss you and me.

Source: http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/how-it-used-to-be

I remember how it used to be
when nothing else matter but you and me
music, country roads, and future dreams.

I miss you, I wish you could see
although you are here, I miss you and me.

Source: http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/how-it-used-to-be

I remember how it used to be
when nothing else matter but you and me
music, country roads, and future dreams.

I miss you, I wish you could see
although you are here, I miss you and me.

Source: http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/how-it-used-to-be

I remember how it used to be
when nothing else matter but you and me
music, country roads, and future dreams.

I miss you, I wish you could see
although you are here, I miss you and me.

Source: http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/how-it-used-to-be

I remember how it used to be
when nothing else matter but you and me
music, country roads, and future dreams.

I miss you, I wish you could see
although you are here, I miss you and me.

I remember when you said how happy I made you
and you really meant it...now, it's just a phrase
you say without thinking.

I miss those days when you'd call just to say "hi"
or "I love you"...the days it was so hard
just to say good-bye for a while.

I remember how wonderful it felt the first time
you held me in your arms-and how after all those
years you still made my heart melt.

I miss the old you- and the old me
The old us that could just sit and talk for hours
and never run out of things to say.

I remember when time simply stood still-
when in each other's arms is the only place
we wanted to be...forever.

I miss us as I remember how it used to be...
when nothing else matter but you and me.

Source: http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/how-it-used-to-be

I remember how it used to be
when nothing else matter but you and me
music, country roads, and future dreams.

I miss you, I wish you could see
although you are here, I miss you and me.

I remember when you said how happy I made you
and you really meant it...now, it's just a phrase
you say without thinking.

I miss those days when you'd call just to say "hi"
or "I love you"...the days it was so hard
just to say good-bye for a while.

I remember how wonderful it felt the first time
you held me in your arms-and how after all those
years you still made my heart melt.

I miss the old you- and the old me
The old us that could just sit and talk for hours
and never run out of things to say.

I remember when time simply stood still-
when in each other's arms is the only place
we wanted to be...forever.

I miss us as I remember how it used to be...
when nothing else matter but you and me.

Source: http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/how-it-used-to-be

Be Thankful

I know you know a lot of positive things to be thankful for,  ( food, shelter,

clothing and life itself) but today being our Thankful Thursday on PA's blog, i will love to show you some things to be thankful for.

Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire... if you did, what would there be to look forward to?

Be thankful when you don't know something... for it gives you the opportunity to learn

Be thankful for your limitations.... they give you opportunities for improvement

Be thankful for the difficult times.... during those times you grow

Be thankful for each new challenge.... which will build your strength and character.

Be thankful for your mistakes... they will teach you valuable lessons.

Be thankful when you are tired and weary... because it means you have given your all

It  is easy to be thankful for the good things .... yet, a life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are thankful for set backs

Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive .... find a way to be thankful for your troubles and they can become your blessings.

“He won’t let me go” its just a common word in most relationships. In the midst of battling the reasons whether they should stay in their relationship or if it is time to walk away, they find comfort in believing that the man must love them because he refuses to bow out peacefully. Granted there are many situations that the man is truly in love with the woman, but do not always be fooled.

A lot of times what is really happening is that you’re just too damn convenient. You are too beneficial to this man for him to dare let you walk away. We all see women everyday who basically are the mothers to the men they are with. They do it all and sexual benefits are included. They take care of everything, carry the financial burden, and allow the man to get away with way too much. He can cheat on her and disrespect her. He can break her mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Yet because he insists that he wants to be with you when you’re ready to leave you actually start to buy into the “he won’t let me go, so he must love me” perception. If he really loved you he would not do half the things I just listed. He would not wait until you’re ready to leave to finally step up his game (he will step it up long enough to reel you back in but then it is back to the same old negative behavior). If he actually loved you then his heart would weigh heavy on him when he knowingly and continuously brings you stress, unhappiness, and hurt. A man who loves his woman cannot continuously watch his woman in pain and be OK with it. Some situations are not this extreme but the principle remains the same. He keeps you around and fights for you because you’re his meal ticket. So why would he let that go.

Love has nothing to do with it and a woman needs to be honest with herself. She should not continue to feed herself a lie due to her fear of a failed relationship and being alone. At the end of the day, I nor does anyone else have all the facts to your situation. So our opinions are somewhat limited. As a woman you have to trust your intuition more because rarely does a woman not know the answer deep inside. For those that are spiritual I do know somebody that does have all the facts and that’s GOD. So when you’re in a situation where you really don’t know where you stand with your partner then lean on GOD’s guidance. Because believe me, that man can and will say whatever is necessary to keep his benefits going but GOD will only tell you to do what is beneficial for YOU. Don’t keep telling yourself and others that “he won’t let me go”, because the real issue to consider is why do you continue to allow him to stay.

I sat at that spot for what seemed like an eternity. I knew my marriage was over. I just did not feel it was worth fighting for. I could never forgive Ifemi for impregnating another woman no matter what I must have done to him. He promised me for better or worse. I stood up eventually with the tears still streaming uncontrollably down my face, walked to the wardrobe and started packing my things. My mother in law came to stand by me and advised me not to go. She kept saying I should not make this mistake. I should not give up on my marriage but to fight for it. She kept going on and on but I totally ignored her. When I was done packing about two boxes, I turned to her and said thank you. I picked my boxes and dragged them to the sitting room. Ifemi was still sitting there, I saw a momentary surprise on his face at the packed boxes but otherwise, he just looked at me and shook his head. That took my anger to another level, I had planned to just walk by but I turned to him and said, “you are such a wicked hypocrite. This marriage was all about children to you right? You jumped at the first pair of skirts to offer them to you. Go to hell Ifemi and stay there. Woe betides me if I ever think of accepting an unfaithful dog like you”. He did not utter a word of reply.

The rest of that day was in a haze. I drove my car, parked it in my office compound and took a cab to the airport. I took the next available flight to Lagos and went home. My mum did not seem surprised to see me and was not accepting at all. I was put under the fire immediately I entered the house even though it was almost midnight. My mother in law and my husband had both called her and told her the whole story. My mum did not even want to listen to me. I begged her to understand but she said I should have called her before messing my whole marriage up and I should get back to my husband immediately. She said I could not stay in the house and she would never condone such but I told her point blank I was not going back there. I could not sleep that night as I was desperately trying to piece it all together. The next morning, I took my bag and headed to a hotel. I texted my mum, telling her where I was in the hope that she will ask me to come back home but she did not reply. By Sunday morning, I had not eaten for 2 days and I was so weak. I had to order room service and I stayed in all day.

On Monday, I started to think deeply on what to do next. I could not stay in a hotel indefinitely and I needed to get back to the office. Would I now get a separate apartment in Abuja or what do I do? If I go back to Abuja now, where do I live? Another hotel? I did not even have friends I could live with. Just as I was thinking of that, my phone beeped, I got an email. I had to read the mail about 4 times to understand that I had just been sacked due to downsizing blah blah blah. Another round of tears started. This could not have happened at a worse time. After all I had given to that company, now they know they are downsizing? I had heard rumors of it but I never thought in a million years it could affect me.  I was not even in Abuja to go fight and raise hell about it. It was really beginning to feel like my whole world had come crushing down. Maybe it was a bad idea to pack out of the house after all. We could take the baby and settle the mother far away from us. That looked like a possible option. I decided to chill an stew in Lagos for one more week before going back home to Abuja.

Immediately I made that decision, I started to feel better. I would definitely get another job but another husband? That is a big NO. I started calling up old friends in Lagos and spent the whole week visiting and hanging out.

By Thursday, Ifemi started calling me. I refused to pick his call but I was smiling in my mind. Now he has come to his senses. I’ll leave him to be sad till Sunday and I’ll take the morning flight home. I booked my ticket immediately; I really was starting to accept the idea of the child. On Friday morning, there was a knock on my hotel room door. I was surprised to see my mum but her face was scary. I have never seen my mum so sad before. I kept asking her what was wrong but she asked me to sit down. Immediately I did, I knew my life was over. She said Ifemi had decided to come meet me in Lagos yesterday evening and he had a car accident on his way to the airport in Abuja. I said, so how is he? Is he okay? I need to get to the hospital immediately. My mum pulled me and said, they tried very hard in the hospital but Ifemi died at about 2am this morning. I could hear screams but I did not even know they were coming from me. I felt myself landing on the bed, I knew I kept shouting but I know nothing else that happened there after. How could I have killed the person I love most in this world?

(THE END)

I want to say a big thank you to all those that followed the story. I hope we all got the lessons in this and can avoid making some grave mistakes in our marriages. 
May God give us all wisdom to build our homes.

Let us live, love and learn for the journey is still far and it is not for the fainthearted
Please ladies its worth reading. 
It's worth sharing
Family is everything. 
One single mistake can ruin it all.
Don't keep secrets away from each other and always carry each other along...

The sudden knock on the door was the jolt that brought me back to my senses. Seriously? I couldn't believe I just kissed another man so deeply. I always believed that Ifemi was my one and only. Wale was so angry at the distraction. The way he shouted, who is that? kind of made me laugh. I tried to gather my wits around me and compose myself and the little dignity I have left. He went to the door and I wondered who he was discussing with but I was not kept in suspense for too long as one of the prettiest ladies I have ever seen walked into the door. One of those women you just meet and you instantly feel inadequate and unsure of yourself. She had so much class and poise and when she said, " hello, I am Tumi, Wale's fiancé and you are? It took me a while to recover and not to let the shock I was feeling register on my face. I am Mrs Ibukun Babalola, your fiancée and I work together and he has never stopped talking about how great you are. I cast a quick glance at Wale and I have never seen so much guilt on a person's face before. I just could not believe he had never mentioned having a girlfriend before not to talk of being engaged. I looked at her and saw the big rock sitting on her finger, she was definitely engaged.

I quickly excused myself and made a silly excuse about coming to sort out an office presentation for Monday, even though she did not ask me what I came for. Wale did not say a word all through. He decided to see me off to the car. I was walking so briskly and just wanted to get away from that embarrassment as fast as possible. Wale started to mention that he was sorry, I landed a very deliberate dirty slap on his face and got into my car and drove off. I parked just down his street and checked my phone. There was already over 30 missed calls from Ifemi and text messages begging not to hurt myself and come back home.  I decided to drive straight home and listen to what my beloved hubby had to say. Immediately I drove into our compound and saw my mother in law's car packed in the compound, I was already irritated. So after cheating on me, Ifemi had the guts to go call reinforcement or what?

I walked into the sitting room with a straight face. I greeted mummy and asked if she had been here for long and if she had eaten. I did not even give Ifemi a second glance even though I knew he was sited right there. She said she was fine and had been waiting for me for about an hour since she was the reason I came and she wanted to talk to me. She told me it was a private discussion and I should lead the way to our bedroom. I was wondering what it was mum wanted to discuss with me privately and had made her come all the way. One thing I loved my mother in law for was the fact that she does not get involved. Even when we had the last big issue that threatened our marriage, she only gave me a call. She was just so busy anyway. I did not have to guess for long. Just as we sat in the room, mum launched into a very long story of how she knew some things that had been happening in our marriage and how hubby and I have been making so many mistakes. She said all of our other mistakes has led to this point where we both have to choose if this marriage actually matters to us. She said she knows about Jadesola, who  indeed had an affair with my hubby and that now the lady was pregnant with his child. I suddenly went blank. It felt like pregnancy had another meaning. I was totally speechless. Mummy kept on talking like she did not just drop a bombshell. She said she just could not understand how I put my job before my marriage and refused to give my husband a child. I could not shout or scream. I just sat there in silence, the tears running down my face while she waited for me to answer the question of, so what will you do now?

Over the next few weeks, Ifemi and I made efforts to get our marriage on track. It seemed like we had drifted apart for too long and we had gotten used to doing things separately. I tried to put things to bed with Wale by discussing the hug and kiss with him but immediately I raised the issue, he just brushed it aside. I just concluded he probably just got carried away or maybe he did not even plan to kiss me anyway. Why make it such a big deal? I began to reduce our lunch dates though and hubby started coming to take me to lunch once in a while. Everything was getting so rosy and I was having the time of my life in my marriage, until one day....

Ifemi went jogging that Saturday morning and left his phone at home. Out of boredom, I just started going through his phone. It had been so long since I checked his phone because it was always so boring. I was not prepared for what I saw. There was an unfamiliar name on his WhatsApp chat. Ifemi did not usually have female friends so seeing the name, Jadesolami was quite a shock. Who will my husband use such an endearment for? I then scrolled the chat way back to earlier messages. I just could not stop the tears. In the two months that Ifemi refused to speak to me, he had found comfort in the arms of another woman. They had shared such intimate chats, the likes of which hubby and I hardly ever wrote to each other even in our best moments. Hubby even wrote in one of his messages that he wished he had met her earlier. The fact that their last messages showed they had ended things was no consolation at all. She wrote that she misses Ifemi and she hopes that the marriage he left her to build was worth it and the only reply my darling hubby had given was that he misses her too and prays it all works out. I just could not fathom it. Ifemi that hardly even spoke to women. Just one simple mistake and he ran to another woman's arms. Nothing had ever prepared me for this. Something kept telling me that if he could forgive me for what I did, I should be able to forgive him too but I just refused to listen. he was supposed to be the faithful and responsible one. I wrote 20 sticky notes saying, "Jadesola misses you" and put it everywhere in the house, right from the front door to the fridge, table tops and everywhere stick-able. I took my car keys and drove straight to Wale's house. I did not even remember to call ahead to know if he was home. The tears wouldn't even stop. I could hardly see. Wale opened on the first knock and was so surprised to see me. He asked what happened and I told him all that happened amidst tears. He cuddled me on the sofa and rocked me to sleep.

By the time I woke up, I was on Wale's bed around 2pm. He must have carried me after I slept. It really was comforting to have such a friend. I looked around for my phone and did not find it so I went to the sitting room to find it. Wale was watching TV and he told me he had made me some rice since he knew I had not eaten. I knew ifemi would be worried and I asked for my phone. Wale said he had switched it off as Ifemi had not stopped calling. I felt rather uncomfortable that Wale just decided to switch off my phone but I also knew he was just looking out for me. By the time I put on my phone, I had 20 missed calls from Ifemi, my battery was already very low. I thought of calling him back but Wale advised me to let him stew for a while that I could bunk with him for as long as I wanted. I knew I could not do that so I decided I would go stay in a hotel later in the evening. Wale did not seem so pleased with the idea but there was nothing he could do so he went to serve me my food. I really could not eat the food as the tears started again. I was just disappointed in Ifemi. Wale came to sit by my side to stop my tears and that was when I felt his hands rubbing by back and then he started rubbing my laps. My first thought was of Ifemi's betrayal. I knew Wale was going to go all the way if I allowed him but was I willing to? Then I also was so angry with my hubby, all these months he made me feel so guilty over lying to him when he was busy being unfaithful? Why not just even the slate? I turned to Wale with all my anger and kissed him hard on the lips....

After a while I stopped feeling miserable. Maybe it had to do with the fact that I was not bottling up so much anymore. Wale had a great listening ear and could listen to my problems all day. Ifemi kept on giving me the worst attitude for another month and after a while I began to ignore him. After over 2 months of wasting so much food, I stopped cooking for him. In fact I stopped doing anything for him. We lived like strangers. It was such a surprise that we still slept in the same bed. We hardly said hello to each other. I preferred to even stay in the office late and gist with Wale. We had lunch and dinner together and I just went home to sleep most days. Wale even advised me that men were not that difficult and if Ifemi sees that his actions were no longer affecting me, he would change and that is exactly what happened.

After about two weeks of ignoring Ifemi, he came home one night and asked me to make dinner for him. I smiled in my mind and went to make him dinner. We ate together that night , he gisted me about his day in the office and we talked into the night. Eventually, the conversation drifted to what happened and Ifemi said he had forgiven me and wanted us to give our marriage another chance. I apologized again and he said now he knows the height of my stubbornness but loves me anyway. I wanted to tell him about my friendship with Wale at that point but it just felt like it would be a betrayal and I did not want to spoil the moment for us.I had so much fun because we gisted like old friends. We didn't even get to the bedroom before Ifemi started touching me. We were like high school kids having their first make out session. Very rushed but fun. We made love right there on the sitting room floor, cuddled and slept off there.

I came in to the office late the next morning after the beautiful night I just had. Wale came to see me immediately to check if I was okay.After all, I had been coming to work very early and closing really late just to avoid Ifemi. I did not plan to give him the full gist of what had happened but Wale said he wouldn't leave my office till he got the full story. I was so excited anyway to hold it in. I gave him the full story of how hubby and I made up and even had make up sex on the sitting room floor. Wale was so excited about it and told me how proud he was of me. He said now that my husband is back now, my work husband can take a bow right? I assured him he was still my bestie whenever Ifemi was naughty. As we walked out of my office together, Wale surprisingly pulled me for a hug and while I was still wondering what the hug was for, he planted a kiss on my lips. He walked out while my mouth was still open. I was really confused. It wasn't that the kiss was not nice, quite the opposite. I just did not understand why Wale will kiss me now that Ifemi and I are getting our marriage back on track. I really did not know what to do but telling Ifemi seemed out of the question now that we were just recovering, I simply could not make him distrust me again. I decided talking to Wale about it seemed like a better option.......

My mother in law spoke to me at length that day. Ifemi had never spoken to her about our marriage before so for him to have called her, she knew I had taken it too far. She said I had taken my job as a priority over my marriage and it would take God to win my hubby back. At the end of that conversation, I felt so weak and broken. I was surprised to see Ifemi arrive back at the hospital the next morning before my surgery. He was not smiling nor speaking to me but his presence there gave me hope. Over the next few weeks, they had to perform 3 surgeries to finally repair all the damage. Ifemi was there all through providing all the support I needed but he still was not speaking to me. The doctor told us that the complications were very bad and my chance of having a baby immediately was 50%. They had done all they could and all was left in God’s hands. I could tell from the way Ifemi looked at me that forgiveness was a long shot not when he still could not have the baby he wanted.

By the time I went back to work Ifemi and I were still not in a good place. I had tried several times to seduce him and get him to even touch me but he just turns around and refuses. The last time I woke him in the night to talk about how we can move on, he just said, “you should have had this conversation before taking decisions by yourself” and went back to sleep. Ifemi that used to come home straight from work now comes back around 10pm, at times later. I just could not fathom how one single action could have broken my marriage this way. The other day, I made him breakfast and he said he wasn’t hungry, I tried to cajole him to eat it and he said, “have you poisoned the food? It is definitely not beyond you, If you can lie for 3 years, you can definitely kill me”. I cried for a long time that day, I shouted and fought. I reminded him of how he said for better for worse and how it was just one mistake but he simply looked at me and walked out. We were living together like strangers in the same house. I definitely cannot spend the rest of my life begging him. It has been 2 months already.

One Wednesday afternoon, my colleague in the office, Wale saw me crying and pestered me and what was wrong. I had never spoken to anybody about my marriage and I was dying inside. I opened my mouth and told him everything from the beginning to the end. It was such a relief sharing my pain with somebody else.  After I said everything, Wale decided to take me to lunch, we talked for so long during lunch. He was really good at listening. Wale told me what I did was really wrong and that I had to keep working on my marriage. He said my husband too was taking it too far and had to forgive me eventually and I agreed with him. He said he was there for me whenever I needed somebody to talk to as it was not even healthy for me to bottle so much up. He made me smile for which I was grateful. It had been long since I had an interesting time. It is really lonely at home these days. That was the beginning of my friendship with Wale......

I woke up with a smashing headache and confusing thoughts. I looked around and there he was, sitting quietly by my hospital bedside lost in thoughts. I quickly closed my eyes and remembered all I was thinking about before my accident. I was going to sneak out tomorrow morning to go remove the IUD before our doctor's appointment. Wait, I don't even know how long I have been out for. I have to check my phone at least to check the date. I opened my eyes and he saw me. I wish I could freeze that moment. The joy in his eyes, the smile on his face was priceless. How could I have made this man I love so much sad these past years, waiting earnestly for a child I purposely did not give him. How will he ever trust me again. If there is one thing I know about Ifemi, he never tolerates lies. He stood up and gave me a very big kiss on the lips. The doctor came in at that moment and assured us everything is fine and we can go home in another day or two. I had been out for up to 24 hours so they had to just monitor my progress.

Ifemi then asked the doctor what I feared most; Doc, we were scheduled to see a gynecologist today before to have a check up and make sure everything is fine as we have been trying to have a baby. Do you think we can run those tests now since we are already in the hospital? The doctor said they'll come by later to run some scans and left. There is no escape now, no secret way to avoid being caught in this big lie. I am so scared right now. How do I face him? The next day, I was feeling much stronger and the tests had been done. Ifemi came into my room with the doctor; I had to force him to go home to sleep last night. The doctor said he wanted to talk to us both about the results of the tests they ran on me. He started by saying, Mrs Babalola, when exactly did you fix your IUD? Ifemi said, what is IUD? I could not even look at his face while the doctor explained to him what an IUD was and he was arguing that of course I did not do it as we have been trying to have children. I saved him further embarrassment and told the doctor it has been 3 years.

Ifemi looked at me and said, Ibukun what do you mean 3 years? You fixed a contraceptive without informing me? You lied to me and made me put in so much effort looking for a child? You seriously did that? I did not even know what to say. The doctor then said, Mr Babalola, that is the least of your worries, the problem now is that there has been some complications with the IUD. This is a rare complication and we rarely see this occur but unfortunately, we are now faced with this situation. We have found that your IUD has shifted from its original position and has now migrated through the opening of your right Fallopian tube. We would have to perform some surgeries to actually get it removed and the earlier we do that the better so as not to totally affect your chances of getting pregnant. I stared at the doctor in disbelief, I could not even begin to comprehend what he was saying. I have so many friends that have fixed this same IUD and nothing has ever happened. Are you sure there is no mistake here? The doctor then tried to explain about how this was a rare complication and all but I just was not listening anymore. I looked at Ifemi's eyes and I could see the judgment in his eyes. I came off my bed and held him begging but he looked at me and said, it was your decision, fix it anyhow you like and he walked out. I just cannot believe this is happening. The tears won't stop falling. All I wanted was to delay pregnancy for a while, I knew I shouldn't have lied to my husband but how was I to know I would have such a complication. I am so lost right now, I don't even know what to do. Will Ifemi ever come back? Am I even still married? My phone started ringing and I looked at the phone and saw it was my mother in law. Oh God! Ifemi must have called

Life couldn’t be better for us. I got a promotion about a month after the wedding. Ifemi started talking about having children but I just could not imagine that yet. I just got promoted to the position of assistant manager. Work would definitely become hectic so getting pregnant would just mess up my plans. One night, we came back from work and just finished having dinner and we had this big conversation, I remember it vividly like it was yesterday even though it was 3 years ago. Ifemi said, “IB we can’t just postpone starting a family indefinitely just because of your job. You knew I wanted a family as soon as we got married. You knew this right from the start. You used to feel the same way and I don’t get why you are suddenly having a change of heart”. I was so angry that day; I just did could not get what the whole fuss was about. I told him straight on, “Now I see why they say men are so selfish. You know how much this promotion means to me and suddenly you just can’t give me a break. I told you my work schedule will become hectic because of this new position. All I have asked for is a year to settle in before I start pumping babies. Now we are married, you think whatever you desire is law? Ifemidayo, you are joking. Except it is not my body that will carry the babies, that is when you can be getting impatient. As for me, I am not ready and that is final.” I looked into my husband’s eyes and I have never seen such anger in him before. I expected him to lash out in more anger but he just quietly turned and went to bed. I was proud of myself for making my point clear. I just felt Ifemi was being selfish just because our salaries would be the same with this new promotion I got.

The next day, I went to the hospital during lunch hour and fixed IUD as a protection. After all, the lack of contraceptive against pregnancy is the beginning of foolishness. I could not trust Ifemidayo to not get me pregnant intentionally and he would never support any permanent contraceptive so I just did it anyway. I’ll take it off codedly when I am ready. After that day, I stopped arguing with him about having babies. In fact, the next time he raised the issue, I simply said okay. He would never know I have sorted myself. Ifemidayo began to take special care of me after then. He would buy me fruits; make sure I took enough vegetables, read everything and anything about women trying to have babies. He made me start taking folic acid at some point in the hope that it would prepare my body for pregnancy. The sex was very regular and it was fun for me. He even started making me calculate my ovulation period. After one year of making so much effort, Ifemi started getting worried. I thought about telling him about the contraceptive I have fixed but work was more hectic than I thought and I could not jeopardize that yet especially now that we were building our own house. How would I support him if I lost my job? I thanked God for the wonderful in laws I have because Ifemi’s mum is truly one of those mothers that does not intrude. There was a time I even felt bad because the pastor recommended a 7days fast in church for people that want children. Ifemi made sure we did the fast. I joined him in doing that but I used the opportunity to pray for other things.

My Manager suddenly knocks on my door and that cuts into my thoughts. Ibukun, “have you done the 3D designs for Glamour concepts Ltd yet? Yes sir, I am bringing it to the meeting now. I looked at my watch. It is time for Friday meeting. I was totally lost in thought sha. I didn’t even know I had been sitting on my desk for 2 hours already. I got busy with work all through that day and I didn’t get back to my thoughts until my drive home at 7pm that night. Sometime last year, I finally decided I wanted to have children. It was not fun seeing Ifemi suffer and seeing all my friends cute babies wasn’t helping matter either. I decided to take out the IUD but I still haven’t gotten around to it yet. This morning, Ifemi called me that he has booked an appointment for us tomorrow to see a gynecologist and do some check up to make sure all is well. I have tried for so long to avoid this but today, he was very adamant. I am thinking maybe I should just tell him about the contraceptive or try and remove it early in the morning before we go to the appointment t 2pm. I do not even want to imagine Ifemi’s reaction and actions if I tell him. I will quietly remove it in the morning. I was so lost in thought, I didn’t see the truck parked in the middle of the road, all I heard was the crash and I just blacked out. My last thoughts were of my beloved

My name is Ibukun, you can just call me Ib as that is what I am called by everybody anyway. I am sited at my desk in this office this Friday morning reflecting on my life these past 5 years. The mistakes I made, the decisions I took and how this job that meant the whole world to me has suddenly become a burden. I remember the day I met my husband here in the city of Abuja, I came for my job interview and he had come to have a meeting with one of the marketers. He could see how nervous I was sitting at the reception waiting to be called that he offered to wait and take me for a drink after. I gave him the meanest look I could muster and told him to mind his business. See me preparing my mind for the biggest job interview of my life and there he was chasing woman. I composed myself and went in for the interview with my laptop almost falling from my hands. I could already tell they loved all the samples of my designs I showed them from the looks on their faces. After all, I am fully invested in my profession as an architect and this kind of opportunity trust me, is not common. I showed them some beautiful 3D designs and drafted floor plans. I came out all smiling and confident. I went to the road to hail and taxi and Lo and behold, he had been waiting for me.

That was how Ifemidayo began to capture my heart. We had a very interesting relationship. he was everything I had been looking for in a man. he was gentle, hardly ever got angry for more than an hour and never even pressured me about sex. He was such a gentleman. To seal it up my family loved him. It even seemed like my parents and my siblings loved him more than me. Ifemi as I call him was the ideal man for me. Two years later, we got married in Lagos where my family home is and then we travelled to Dubai for our honeymoon. I had been working for 2 years now and my job was very well paying so we could afford a reasonable wedding and a nice honeymoon. Ifemi had a good job too with a consulting firm. It was one of these coded firms in Abuja that had plenty money to pay their staff. We were comfortable, we were in love and we loved God. It seemed like nothing could go wrong. We rented a nice two bedroom flat in Gwarinpa about a month before the wedding and we both had our cars already so all was set for a great life ahead. We came back to Abuja after the honeymoon to live happily ever after... or so we thought.